One Mistake, Too Many Heartbreaks
by ultSmarsh
Summary: To save Maria, Hades makes a deal with the Fates that goes awry- somehow, poor Nico bears the brunt of the curse. A collection of stories about Nico's unrequited love for Percy, with a side of tragedies and tears.
1. The Mistake

**Prologue.**

She was dead. His beloved wife, Maria, lay in his arms. As the lord of the Underworld, Hades could sense the spirits of the dead, and his insides churned as he felt Maria's soul enter the gates of Hell. Having worked down there for, well, eternity, Hades was keenly attuned to every motion her ghost took in his domain.

 _Step, Step._ She walked slowly on the ice-cold ground of the Underworld, unflinching as she inched closer to death. Her eyes were wandering, and she muttered his name over and over again, as if he could save her. Once she was past the gates, there would be no coming back- she would be past his power, and stuck forever in Asphodel or Elysium.

 _Step, Step, Step_.

As he held her broken body, bent grotesquely halfway through, he couldn't help but pray, against all rationale, that she would stop. Turn back, and come back with him into his palace. He could get an additional wing built in the palace, where she could live. True, Persephone wouldn't be happy, but what could she really do?

 _Step, Step, Step_. What could he really do?

He would do anything.

"Would you, Lord Hades? Would you do anything to be with Maria?"

He turned around, only to find three shriveled, human-sized squashes. Upon closer examination, they weren't squashes, but rather old women with skin that hung off them in sheets, with a long pool of string laying on the ground at their feet. In the hands of the middle woman, she slowly spooled the last bits of the string off.

The Fates. He stared at them, knowing that whatever he chose would change him forever. Would he value his respect for the laws, or personal passions? Maybe Persephone wouldn't even accept another woman in the palace, maybe if he rescued her, she would be unhappy, maybe-

 _Step_. Maria!

"Yes."

She stopped moving, a toe over the precipice between life and death, as the Fate held onto the last strands of the string.

"You, Hades, out of all Gods or mortals, should understand what this means. Even the smallest twist in the string of Fate has huge consequences."

He stared blankly ahead, his common senses shouting at him, but she screamed louder.

"Anything. I swear on the River Styx. As long as Maria is back in my house- I'll deal with the consequences."

The Fate smiled, and snipped the string, so that only a strand remained.

"Her soul has been saved."

Hades let out a sigh of relief, as he felt Maria's bare feet leave the ground, floating over to his palace. He looked at the Fates, awaiting the second condition.

"Of course, one soul must be traded for another. The next mortal you lay your eyes on, will bear the curse of Death. He will live, but wish he was dead. The possibility of a happy life, full of wonder and joy, will always be right in front of him, but inch away when he seeks it."

He frowned. Of course, it was standard for these types of trades; he couldn't prevent pain, just redirect it. Despite what he presented to the outside world, Hades was not a cruel God. He tried to make death as pleasant as it could be, and generally tried to avoid hurting mortals unnecessarily. Was there any mortal who had recently angered him, that would deserve such a punishment?

He looked over at the Fates, who were oddly smiling. Of course. They knew who it would be already- it was fate.

"Dad! What's wrong with Mum?" He heard pattering feet, dancing lightly on the ground.

Every inch of his body wanted to turn around, to bring his daughter to safety, but that would only risk the curse falling on her.

"Bianca, baby, get Nico and get out of here."

"Is she alive?" Her voice quivered with tears. Unlike her brother, she was old enough to understand what death was. "What are those weird ladies doing here? Nico and I were playing hide-and-seek, and then I heard-"

"Out!" He shouted at her, and he felt pain gnaw at his heart as she ran out of the room, crying. He would explain it all to her later. Right now, he had to get his children to safety.

And then, from the other door to the hotel room, he ran in. His son. Hades' eyes opened in shock, and he tried to turn around as fast as he could, but he felt it in his body- the sudden lift of the curse.

He felt Nico's arms wrap around him, only reaching up to his upper thighs.

"Daddy, where is Mommy? Bia? Why are you sad?"

With one hand, he held Nico, as he pleaded at the Fates. "Why him? He's just a boy."

They only smiled. The Fate on the left took out a spool of thread, midnight black in color, and pulled out a tiny strand.

* * *

Car. Slamming doors. Screaming mortals.

He rushed inside. He had known about this place for a long, long time- a place where time was frozen, mortals forever preserved in a state of blissful unawareness.

The person behind the counter, a pretty attendee with black hair tied up in a bun, stared shocked at him.

"Take them. Please." He shoved Nico and Bianca forward, both of whom were half-dazed and slightly in shock.

The Lotus Hotel. The magic here, he could sense, was so strong that Nico would be safe from any harm. They would keep him safe, while the rest of the world raged on. He shoved Nico and Bianca inside, casting protective veils on both of them, and giving Nico the power to shadow-travel. He prayed it'd keep him safe, forever.

How wrong he'd turn out to be.

 **A/N: So, this story is basically going to be a string of Percy/Nico one-sided oneshots, in a mostly chronological order. Basically, if you like seeing a very heartbroken Nico get more heartbreak, read on. Else, there are tons of happy romance fics out there :)**


	2. Bianca's Death

**Chapter 1.**

Nico stared at himself, and immediately felt a wave of repulse crash over his shoulders. His eyes were puffy from crying, standing in stark contrast to his pale skin. But somehow, his sister's death wasn't the worst part of his day.

Yeah, he felt like a monster. What type of sick freak doesn't feel pained to the core by the death of his sister, who had cared for him since birth? But, it was like Bianca had just melted away in his memory, fading with barely a whisper. Her voice, eyes, smile; no matter how hard Nico tried, he couldn't remember the exact shape or sound.

Instead, what he saw was simple: those sea-green eyes, brimming with tears.

Percy thought he was a monster. He probably blamed Nico for the skeletons as well, which were definitely not his fault. He had seen the skeletons climbing out of the ground, and panicked, opening up the chasm to save Percy. His head had been roaring, blood pumping at ridiculous speeds, as he saw their bony fingers almost touch Percy and drag him in. Even more terrifying, he almost let them. Instead, he summoned all the energy he had left, and cut a chasm through the ground. But then he looked up, and saw a sight that wiped all thoughts of Bianca from his head.

Percy, scared. Of him. His eyes locked onto his, and Nico knew exactly what Percy was thinking- that he had tried to kill the demigod. It didn't matter if it wasn't the truth; Percy would never believe him otherwise. He'd never have his trust again.

The hero lept back, away from the chasm, and away from Nico. He watched as Percy drew Riptide, his lean muscles almost shimmering in the light. Nico summoned a few skeletons to help Percy, before running away.

That's all he ever did anyways, run away. Running away from Bianca- He should've been there, on the quest, fighting by her side. He could've saved them all, as well as make Percy think he was strong. Instead, he was what he was now-

"A scared little boy, crying in the corner. That's all you'll ever be."

He stood up, eyes pulsing with black fire. The voice, familiar by now, was still unsettling, like nails on a chalkboard in an empty classroom.

Of course, it was his own.

* * *

There wasn't much for him to do. He sat by the lake, underneath a tall fir tree. The water really was beautiful, he decided there, and it helped calm him down. The tiny ripples in the water made it seem as if it were alive, bright and vibrant, never sad or stagnant.

"Nico?"

There it was, the distant voice of a camper. Soon, he would be surrounded, and there were no shadows nearby to flee to. He wondered for a brief instant why he didn't run away from camp. He would be free, away from Bianca's killers.

But then, an irrational part of his heart kept screaming at him, telling him to stay. _Percy cares about you_ , it coaxed into his ear, _even after what you did._ _He'll come looking for you. He loves you._

He knew that wasn't true. He had seen that girl earlier- Annabeth, was that her name? With the blonde hair, they brought her back to camp half-unconscious, badly battered but still alive.

He'd never been the jealous type towards other people. Nico had long accepted that he wouldn't be happy, that it was the way life turned out for him. However, upon seeing Percy kiss Annabeth gently before letting her into the infirmary, Nico had never felt more jealous of an unconscious body before.

And then, immediately felt bad about it, when Percy's smile fell upon seeing Nico.

"Nico, please come back."

The camper's voice came closer. It sounded male, and that revelation sent tingles down Nico's spine.

Could it be Percy? His heart dared to flutter a second.

"I'm- I'm here." He muttered, then said louder. The rummaging in the forest stopped for a second, then started moving towards him, at a much faster pace.

"No one's mad at you. It- it's not your fault."

Percy?

He leapt from his spot beneath the tree, eyes still glistening with tears, and almost smiling as he turned around to find a large, brown eye staring curiously at him.

"You smell sad." He said, as if stating a piece of common knowledge.

Nico tried not to look too disappointed at Tyson. It wasn't his fault that his voice was similar to Percy, or that Nico felt very conflicted.

"Hi Tyson."

Surprisingly, the Cyclops sat down next to Nico. The days when Percy wasn't here, most of the campers just avoided Nico.

"Nico, why are you sad?"

He smiled. "Someone who I love is scared of me."

Tyson nodded. "Like Percy, right?"

Nico froze, but Tyson just kept on talking.

"Percy is my brother, and I know he loves me, but sometimes he looks at me like I'm a monster. I don't blame him, though; it isn't his fault that he thinks like that, because I am sort of a monster. But it's all okay, because he is still my brother."

Was Percy still his friend? His heart screamed yes, but logic overwhelmed it. _He thinks you're a monster_ , his brain stated, _and unlike Tyson, you aren't even his brother. Just some random boy he was sent to rescue_.

After all, why would Percy want to be his friend? He was a scrawny little boy, a nerd, and if that wasn't enough, he had freakish powers with the dead. Nobody liked the topic of death- even Nico himself sometimes felt uncomfortable.

Plus, if Percy knew his feelings, he would definitely hate Nico. He still couldn't believe himself; he should be angry at Percy, for letting Bianca die, and yet all he could think about was how hard he had fallen for the hero. He was dishonoring Bianca's memory.

"Are you okay, Nico?"

He must've been staring off into space for a while now.

"Look, Tyson, I might be going somewhere. For a long time, I might not come back even."

Surprisingly, the Cyclops smiled. "A playdate with your friends?"

Nico couldn't help but grin at that. The idea was so ridiculous. He was eleven, for crying out loud; playdates were for little kids. Also, it wasn't as if he really had any friends- he mostly just hung out with Bianca and a few ghosts, who were never tired and would geek out with him for hours about Mythomagic.

"Sure. Can you, um, watch out for Percy? Make sure he doesn't do anything stupid, alright?"

Tyson laughed. "I already do that!"

* * *

The sun was fading by the time Tyson had left him. It felt good, really, to just talk. He carefully stayed away from Bianca and Percy; the topics were too sore in his mind, but Tyson was a great listener. For once, Nico didn't feel like the freak who no one liked.

And then Percy's voice, the real one, laced with exhaustion and pain, shouted into the forest.

"Tyson? Nico? It's getting dark."

Frowning, Nico shook his head and told Tyson to go, despite his pleadings. He felt, for an instant, his heart tugging him back to camp. It whispered treacherous thoughts in his mind: _Percy called your name also. He still cares._

No. If Percy cared, it would be out of fear.

No one ever returns Nico's love.

 **A/N: Please review, and spread some happiness (because after writing these, by god I need it)**


	3. Calypso

Nico opened his eyes, and took a long breath. It had been quite some time since he'd talked to a living being; after Bianca's death, he had sort of freaked out and disappeared. And although sulking in the Underworld was fun and all, he longed to hear the voice of life. Someone who didn't sound like their vocal chords had been ripped out, a common trait amongst the ghosts he met in the Underworld.

And so, he found himself on Calypso's island. He had first discovered it by a mistake; when Percy was on the quest, he was practicing his shadow-travelling and accidentally landed on the island. After a very interesting first meeting (Calypso complaining that he was hardly 'hot', and him awkwardly staring back at her), he had become quick friends with Calypso.

Since she was trapped on an island, and he barely talked to anyone anyways, they ended up spilling their secrets to each other. She was a good listener, stirring her tea thoughtfully while watching Nico cry, as he talked about his mother's death, and how he was gay.

Nico frowned when he heard voices ringing out from the center of the island. Was someone else there? The last time he was here, a few weeks ago, _before_ the incident with Percy, there was no one else here with Calypso.

He crouched behind a bush.

And, in front of him, Calypso stood talking to the very demigod that he came here to rant about.

Percy freaking Jackson was here. How did he even get here?

"Who are you? How did I get here?'

Okay, so maybe it was an accident, and Percy didn't come here on purpose. Out of everyone in the universe, Percy was somehow both the person Nico wanted to see the most, and the least, right now.

Calypso sighed, and Nico immediately sensed danger in her eyes. They weren't the same as when Nico and Calypso were talking, all bright and sharp. No, her eyes had crinkled a bit in the corners and were almost dreamy.

"Come, I'll make you some food, and we can talk about it over there." She pointed to her living area.

He knew what was going to happen. Calypso had told him about this once- that as her punishment, the Gods sent her heroes that she would fall in love with, and then took them away every time.

Percy was going to fall in love with his best friend.

Despite his heart pleading at him not to go, to spare him one more heartbreak, he shadow-travelled into the corner of Calypso's cave, behind a hanging rug. He peeked from the corner.

They were walking towards him now, and Nico almost gasped. Looking from the front, Percy looked incredibly battered, his hair sticking up in every which way, with scars and burns covering his face and arms. Some of the burns looked particularly bad; he guessed even the water couldn't cure them all. What did Percy do, go swimming in a volcano? He mentally slapped himself for feeling concern; Percy would never feel the same.

They walked past his position in the cave, and he cursed himself for not choosing a better place. There was a grassy clearing past the cave; they probably were there.

"How do you feel?" Calypso's voice, sweet as honey. For some reason, he hated it this time, but more importantly, he really hoped Percy hated it.

"How long have I been out?" He sounded as if he were smiling. He probably was; Calypso was pretty and friendly and definitely smiling at him.

"Time, Time is always difficult here. I honestly don't know, Percy."

Nico flinched at the name. For an instant, it was as if Calypso had betrayed him, had stolen his love and made him her own. _Stop it_ , he chided himself. _He isn't yours_.

They chatted for a while, and Nico couldn't help but feel incredibly depressed in his position, crumpled up underneath the rugs, obsessively grasping onto every word Percy spoke. He felt like one of those creepy stalkers; it wasn't his fault that Percy, fucking Percy, happened to be here at the same time as him.

Day turned into nights; he spent most of his time in the Underworld, helping clean up some ghosts and searching futilely for Bianca, but every day, he made sure to travel back to check in on them.

One night, as he slipped out of the shadows once more, he saw a faint glow coming from the clearing.

"That's moonlace." She held out a white flower to Percy, shimmering in the moonlight, and he stared at it. Cautiously, he moved a hand forward and tapped the bud.

"What are you doing?"

Percy laughed nervously. "Um, petting it."

And strangely enough, Calypso began to laugh. Nico felt a weird resentment in his heart- he had never made Calypso laugh before. She had smiled, talked, and become friends with him, but no, Nico di Angelo had never made her laugh. But within a few days, Percy had done it.

He didn't know who to hate anymore.

* * *

And, just like that, the next time Nico came, Percy was about to leave. He stood on the beach, next to a raft. In front of him, Calypso, wearing a simple red dress.

He watched as she tucked a small white flower, moonlace, into Percy's pocket.

"Then come to the beach, my hero. And we will send you on your way."

And she kissed him. It wasn't a full-on kiss, no it was just on his forehead. But by the way Percy blushed, and stared in shock, Nico couldn't help but clench his fists. It wasn't fair at all; Calypso had him entangled.

But it was fair, wasn't it? Calypso was beautiful, and kind, and everything Nico wasn't. It was completely fair for her to kiss Percy, because he would want it.

A few minutes after Percy left, when his raft had disappeared into the horizon, Nico stepped out.

"Hi, Calypso." He waved and smiled, careful to not show any emotion. "I just thought I'd drop by- is something wrong?" Nico said, looking at Calypso's eyes, which were lightly dusted with tears.

She smiled at him gently. It really was a beautiful smile; Percy would definitely love it.

"You wouldn't believe what just happened. Remember the curse I told you about? Well, this guy…"

He nodded along, as they walked towards her cave once again.

She didn't see the tears hidden in his own darker, uglier eyes.

 **A/N: Thanks for the review, and I hope more will come! Also, again, if you have any ideas for tragic friend-zoning, send them over /_(._.)_/**


	4. The Styx

The Styx- a river that washed away your humanity.

Nico watched as Percy lowered himself into the river. Immediately, his eyes rolled back into his head, and he crumpled into the water. The black waters pummeled at his body, and although he knew it would protect Percy, watching the boy in pain caused Nico's heart to convulse. For once, in the river Percy wasn't at home, a powerful demigod able to complete heroic tasks. In the Styx, he was more a corpse.

After betraying Percy, Nico already felt like shit; somehow, Percy forgiving him so easily, trusting him with those wide eyes- that burned. He almost wanted Percy to be angry at him, to tell him how undeserving he was of their friendship, so he could finally move on, and hate Percy. Hate the boy for what he had put Nico through, years of longing and self-loathing, of disgust and self-pity.

As if Nico could hate him.

He watched Percy shudder in the water, and his lips moved. Something was wrong, Nico was sure of it. In the pale darkness of the Underworld's caves, Percy's ghost shimmered right next to him, with deadened eyes.

There was nothing he could do, though. Percy had chosen to go into the Styx and talk to Achilles, and he would need a chain to hold on. Nico watched sadly as Percy muttered Annabeth, over, and over again, his lips tracing the name as if it were a goddess.

Nico turned to leave. There was no need for him to be here anymore; he had made his contribution to the world, by giving Percy the opportunity to become an invincible hero. It wasn't as if Percy cared about him anyways.

"Annabeth!"

His voice sounded so fragile in the air, as if he was barely clinging onto life with the thinnest of threads. Nico gritted his teeth. What did Percy do to deserve any sympathy from him? He had all but murdered Bianca, and caused Nico so much more pain than he had ever experienced. There was no logical reason- he wouldn't be loved anyways, it was his curse.

But Percy, his heart pled. As if there were somehow a tiny chance that Percy would recognize him, and even fall in love with him. Ridiculous.

And yet, like always, his heart somehow won, and Nico found himself staring at the river.

Percy was almost in the center, and it was as if his entire essence was coming apart. If he were drawn with graphite, the river was smudging him into a cascade of blurred lines, barely outlining the shape of a teenage boy.

Percy's eyes opened, staring into space. His lips were still muttering Annabeth's name, as if she were some goddess that could save him. His eyes were tinted with a dull green, and Nico could see the irises begin to fade into that dull black, so characteristic of the dead in the Underworld.

He jumped without thinking, and recoiled instantly when he touched the Styx. A wave of images jumped out at him- his mother's laughter before lightning shook the building, the last time he'd seen Bianca, and they pummeled him mercilessly.

The pain was indescribable. It wasn't like a normal pain, which would eventually dull into a throb, then an ache, then eventually disappear. No, it felt as if his blood itself was the poison, and that it was eating him from the inside out. His thoughts were becoming blurred- why was he even in the river? Wasn't it too early for a swim? Mom wouldn't even be home yet; did Bianca take him to the pool?

He felt his hand grab onto something, and his vision cleared.

It was Percy, unconsciously drifting out. His mind immediately focused again, on the present, and he gripped Percy's hand even tighter, pulling the hero back towards the shore.

Every step felt like his bones were shattered, and jammed into each other at obtuse angles. In his arms, Percy cuddled closer to Nico's chest, and he wished that they could just stay like that. That he could just the Styx wash them away, and that Percy would love him.

"Annabeth," he mewed, and Nico shook his head, snapping out of the delusion.

There was a war upstairs, and he had a duty to help Percy, not to take advantage of him. He dragged the demigod onto the shore, not stopping until he was panting and the sharp stones beneath his feet were a welcome change.

Percy's eyes slowly changed color, growing in hue, until they returned to their original state. He looked up at Nico, almost dazed.

"Annabeth?"

Nico smiled, and stroked his cheek softly. The pain of the Styx had long left his body; instead, it was replaced with a dulled pain, one that thumped in his chest. He guessed it might be his heart.

"Hey, Seaweed Brain." That was Annabeth's nickname for Percy, and Nico smiled softly when Percy blushed at his words.

Percy smiled, and closed his eyes. The hallucinations would wear off soon, wouldn't they? And then what would happen to Nico? No one would ever hear of how he saved Percy, of how he, not Annabeth, was the one who brought the hero of Olympus out of Hell.

No one would ever know, including Percy.

* * *

"You did what?"

Percy grinned sheepishly. He, Annabeth, and a few other campers stood guard outside the Empire State Building, looking out. Nico gazed, unnoticed, from the shadows above.

"I went into the Styx, so I'm basically Superman now."

Annabeth smiled at him while jokingly swatting at his cheek. "How did you survive, oh mighty Superman?"

Percy scrunched his eyes, and a blush crept onto his cheeks. Nico stared with dull, black eyes, devoid of color.

"The thought of you, Wise Girl."

 **A/N: Short and salty. I'll try to update this thing more- the next few chapters are especially depressing, and I'm so excited! (Does that make me a sadist though?)**


	5. Percy Lost

' "No."

The room hung onto that one word, and some jaws dropped; a rather impressive feat in a room full of immortals.

"No?"

Percy nodded, this time more confident and vigorous.

"No. I'm thankful and all. It's just that… "

He stared straight into Nico's eyes, which were shining with tears. He knew what was coming; he'd heard Percy say the words a thousand times in his head, but now it was really happening.

"I think I'm in love."

'

He woke up to banging on his door, like the clap of thunder. It had been a dream, again. One he had had pretty much every night since the final battle, that in some alternate universe where miracles were real, Percy had stayed because of him.

Nico opened the door, looking through sleep-lidded eyes, and found a familiar blond figure. Rage, illogical rage boiled inside of him; why couldn't it be Percy who woke him up, instead of his..

"He's gone, he's gone and we can't find him, and I just thought that-"

Nico felt the anger simmer down, and refocused his gaze. True, the blonde was Annabeth, but she looked as if Kronos had awaken in the middle of her cabin. Her eyes were bloodshot, hair strewn every which way. He instantly felt a wave of guilt wash over him; she never did anything wrong to him.

"Hold up, say that again?"

She spoke again, and this time Nico noticed the small quiver in her voice, one that seemed almost like the guttural mutterings of a dying animal.

"Percy's gone. He"

She kept talking, that is her lips kept moving, but Nico stopped hearing. Percy being gone wasn't something that could happen- it just wasn't a statement that his mind could comprehend. He was always there, too sunny and bright, a permanent thorn in Nico's heart. He couldn't just be gone.

"and maybe, I don't know, you could shadow travel to find him. Please Nico, it would mean so much to me. I know you weren't particularly close, but"

He almost scoffed. She was right, of course. He had never taken up more than a whisper in Percy's thoughts, a small shadow in his universe, no matter how hard Nico tried. But to him, well, the demigod was everything.

"Okay. It might be a few weeks."

She sniffed. "Thank you."

* * *

A few minutes, more like it. Although no one knew it, Nico could pretty much sense any living person in the world; they were tied to their shadows, and so he found himself in the Bay Area of California, a place with way too much sunshine.

It was Hazel. The half-sister he had found in the Underworld, who he had saved, was at this camp. Nico knew that no one at Half-Blood knew about this camp; it was filled with Roman demigods, and he could see why the gods wanted them split apart.

And yet, as Nico watched, Hazel spoke to a very, very familiar face. Percy Jackson stood in front of him, looking slightly dazed and worse for the wear, speaking to Hazel. His eyes widened when he saw Nico, and Hazel turned around.

"Nico! It's so nice to see you."

He smiled as Hazel hugged him. Although he usually flinched and drew away from physical contact, he was fine with Hazel; she was like Bianca, part of his family.

He caught Percy looking at him weirdly.

"Oh yeah, that's Percy. We just found him stumbling around; it's like he lost his memories or something. You wouldn't know anything about him, would you?"

"I don't-"

"I know you."

Percy spoke, and Nico felt a wave of hope rise in his stomach. Percy would remember him, out of all people? Did that mean-

No. He couldn't think like that. Probably Percy just had a faint imprint of him from somewhere; if Annabeth were here, he would probably recognize her on first sight.

"I don't."

The words escaped his mouth before he could stop himself, and immediately he saw Percy's lips turn downwards. Shame bubbled inside of him; how could he lie?

Percy sighed, running a hand through his hair. "That's okay. I just thought you looked like someone I knew. Wouldn't happen to know a girl named Annabeth, by any chance?"

"No," he said too quickly.

Percy looked upwards, and their eyes met for a second. Nico saw a glimpse of sorrow and loneliness flash in front of Percy's eyes, before he smiled, as if nothing had happened.

"Oh, well that's okay. What's your name?"

* * *

As he shadow-travelled back into Camp, he was immediately confronted by Annabeth. She nearly tackled him in a hug, sobbing into his shoulder, and he felt a pang hit him again. What he was doing wasn't right.

"Did you find him?"

He faked a grimace as best as he could, which wasn't very hard considering the revolt he felt inside, rising up slowly, churning.

"No, sorry. I'll look again tomorrow."

He allowed himself to relish, for a second, the look of pain that overtook Annabeth's face. Finally she knew what he felt- to love someone and have them be unreachable, to be forgotten in the abysses of memory by that same person that occupied his thoughts. She who had it all, who Percy cared about even after forgetting- well, a bit of hatred from Nico was far less than she deserved.

 **A/N:** **Next chapter will start to move away from strictly canon, and hopefully give me more room to do stuff. Review please!**


	6. A Game

It was as if every day, the world around him shrunk. Ever since the death of Bianca, all those years again, Nico had grown used to staying alone throughout most of his day. However, the small confines of the Argo meant that he had to spend a lot of time everyday watching people, interacting with people, and sadly, talking to people.

And that included a certain demigod, who seemed to have recovered completely from his trip down to Tartarus.

In fact, every breakfast seemed to be the same routine, over and over again- he would stumble out of his bed in the morning, with dark circles around his eyes from his insomnia, and somehow bump into Jason on the way. Every. Goddamn. Time. Jason always seemed to care a lot for him; Nico could see him making worried faces at the dark bags underneath Nico's eyes.

Truthfully, although he would never admit it, he sort of enjoyed having someone who cared about him. Ever since that bastard Cupid had confronted them together, Jason had almost clung Nico close to him at all times- making sure he was eating all his meals, giving him stern looks when he caught the demigod awake late at night.

And then, after Jason gave him his daily warnings and check-over, they would go to the breakfast hall, almost always the last to arrive.

Nico guessed that, those strange demigods who sat arranged around the table, they were his new family. There was Hazel of course, whom always greeted him with a gentle smile. Frank always sat by her side, and honestly comforted Nico as well; if anything awkward happened, well, the dude was basically a lightningrod for awkwardness.

Then there was Leo, in whom Nico could sense traces of the same loneliness he felt, although Leo was much better at masking it. Between his jokes and bubbly grins, there was hardly a moment when his real emotions peeked through. Jason and Piper were predictably nice and relatively perfect; surprisingly, out of the pair, Jason was the one whom was the most heavily invested in his love life.

And finally, well, the man of his dreams, whom could cause his heart to break or flutter with a word, was busy spouting the most ridiculous nonsense Nico had ever heard.

"Annabeth, do you think that to clams, we appear as gods? We can move and talk and do so many things, and I bet the baby clams pray to us for good luck in their clammy lives."

She laughed, and smacked him gently on the head. Nico stared at her hand with envy.

"Not even a clam would pray to you for intelligence," Annabeth said.

Percy frowned for a second, and for a split moment, ridiculous rage filled Nico. Then, Percy cracked a smile. "I bet they think that the clams we harvest are like demigods- we pull them out of the ocean, into the sunlight."

And so the cycle of life goes. Sometimes, Nico couldn't believe how stupid his heart was.

BREAK

Everyone could feel it, of course- the lingering apprehension in the air that seemed to throb to the beat of war drums. Gaea would be awakening soon, and none of them knew who would live. The stress built up in the smallest places, from the fact that Hazel kept accidentally making pitch-black diamonds sprinkle onto their ship, to the occasional goat pellets that were found in alleys (Frank swore it was Hedge). And so, they did what teenage demigods did.

"Anyone want to play a game?" Annabeth asked.

They were all crowded inside the game room, in various states of fetal. With the exception of Nico, everyone was leaning or slumped over at least one other person, with Percy sprawled across Annabeth and Jason's laps.

He instantly perked up, and leapt to his feet. "I have an idea."

Hazel grimaced. "No," she said, glaring at Percy until he sat back down, dejected. "We aren't playing Go Fish again."

The conversation happened for a few minutes, in that loose scattered form that teenage conversations often seemed as.

"How about spin the bottle?" It was Piper.

Pretty everyone shrugged a nod in unison, and Nico found himself suspecting she had charmspoken (as he found himself nodding a bit also).

She beamed.

* * *

It seemed that Aphrodite was watching their game, as the first few rounds passed with statistically copious amounts of drama. Annabeth made out with Piper, then Jason had to kiss Hazel, who then made out with a slightly-too-happy Leo (in front of a very disgruntled Frank).

And then it was somehow Nico's turn, and he found the bottle sitting in front of him. It was a simple bottle of sparkling water; Hazel had picked it up from their last grocery trip, and somehow it had survived the midnight raids of eight hungry demigods for this long.

"Um, are you sure you want me to play?" He was blushing, he was sure of it, and his eyes scampered back and forth willing them not to land on Percy.

"Aww, are you a kirgin?" Piper half-teased, and Nico felt his face flush.

"What even is a kirgin?"

"Someone who hasn't had their first kiss. It's true, isn't it? That's so cute!" She practically squealed.

Surprisingly, Jason came to his defense. "Hey, babe, lay off a bit. There's nothing wrong with that."

Nico felt himself blush even harder. He did not need Jason to defend him, after all. "That's okay," he said. "I'll play."

He felt seven pairs of eyes (eight if Aphrodite truly was watching) focus in on his hand as he grasped the neck of the bottle and gave it a spin.

Spin.

Spin.

He saw the reflections of his friends caught on the surface.

It almost stopped at Jason, but kept crawling. Slowly, dragging on the surface of the floor.

It was going to stop at Annabeth, he knew it even before it stopped. There just wasn't enough force to push it further-

As if pushed by a tiny gust of wind (Nico had his suspicions about a certain hurricane rider), it squeaked right past Annabeth. He gulped as the bottle pointed at a pair of very nice, brown, laced, _male_ , shoes.

"All right then. Come over here, buddy. Aren't you lucky?"

He shuffled his feet, refusing to look Percy in the face. If he did, he would blush, and then it would all be ov-

Percy tilted his head upwards, and in one fell swoop, kissed him.

Was it heaven?

If so, heaven died seven seconds later.

Nico was still staring blankly into space, almost smiling, when he saw Percy pretend to retch, and immediately felt a wave of tears rise into his throat.

"Eww that tasted so gay. Annabeth I'm using your extra-minty mouthwash." He waved his hand in front of him in an exaggerated motion, and sprinted off down the hallway.

The laughter was deafening. Nico blended shadows over his eyes so they seemed perfectly dark, so that nobody could make out the tears that were on the verge of coming out.

Was it worth it? Were those seven seconds of heaven, with Percy's beautiful lips and experienced tongue, worth it? He didn't know, and instead just sat down, curling into a small ball.

"How was it? It's okay, everyone's first kiss is a bit tough, but at least Percy's a good kisser, right? Calm down, -" Annabeth was cut off by a loud growl, and some scattering people.

"Screw off. It's just a game; that kiss didn't matter."

Surprisingly, it wasn't Nico who said that, although his anger screamed through his breath. Rather, Jason was almost on his feet, looking rather panicked.

Piper rested a hand on him, and slowly Jason sat back down, but he still stared sternly at Annabeth.

Nico had never realized until that moment how much he truly hated Annabeth. She wasn't intentionally hurtful; no, that had never been her style. Rather, it was something much worse, the way she flaunted Percy and their relationship for the whole world to see, as if he was hers- sure they were dating, but it wasn't like she could take him all to herself-

Percy returned from the bathroom, and fell right back into Annabeth's lap, nuzzling his face into her neck.

That night, Nico slept a full night, for the first time in years. For once, the nightmares couldn't hurt him.

 **A/N: :( That was quite a chapter to write. Next up- Nico's journey with the Athena statue. I will be erasing the end of "Blood of Olympus", where Nico confesses to Percy- there are quite a few more heartbreaks in store for our young hero.**

 **Review please!**


	7. Love Lost

**A/N: For the purposes of plot, Nico/Will don't get together, or even notice each other :'(**

He stumbles out of bed, shutting off his alarm, and reaches for the bottle he has cleverly concealed behind his bedpost.

Nico never used to drink. He found the sensation uncomfortable, as the ever-present pain in the back of his head seemed to melt away. It wasn't that he was fond of it; despite what everyone thought, he wasn't emo at all. No, but it was comforting, in a way, because as long as that pain was in his head that meant Percy was happy.

And that was what mattered. Never mind that Percy was happy without Nico- it wasn't the older hero's job to care for every broken heart that trailed behind him.

But now Percy was no longer happy. True, he still laughed and joked, but Nico could tell by looking in his eyes that he was lying, that the smiles he gave never shone through his eyes. After all, he had personal experience.

Nico always used to dream of the day when Percy would look at Annabeth and turn away, but now that it was here, he hated it. Something had snapped after Tartarus, it seemed, and now the demigod seemed as if a marionette pulled reluctantly by strings. As if a corpse.

He hears the camp come to life. The campers streaming out of their cabins, to the breakfast table, to smile at each other and live life. He hears them giggle and bicker and silverware clink; after all, the war is over. So what if a hero falls along the way?

And he can see Percy's shadow through the walls, dark and brooding, scrunched up in the corner. He wants so badly to go over and rest a hand on his shoulder, to embrace him and comfort him. But even as he reaches a fingertip into the shadows, Nico knows he is lying. Because Percy doesn't want him right now.

He never did.

* * *

And so the days flew. Eventually Percy started eating again, smiling a bit more, sometimes even happily chatting with Annabeth. The shadows still remained, but everyone, even the infirmary, agreed on one thing- Percy was recovering. And slowly, inch by inch, Percy learned to love again.

He wanted so badly to be the one Percy leaned on, for support. Jason told him it was a good idea; of course Percy knew Nico had a crush on him, but they were still friends, right? Of course Nico always drew back from getting closer to Percy, because he knew what would happen: Percy would hang out with him out of guilt. Percy would try to comfort him, to soothe his nightmares and make him smile, because he, Nico, had placed that burden - of being loved - on his shoulders. And though he dreamt of it every night, he couldn't possibly do it.

Because that would make Percy unhappy.

But, yet, as the leaves turned red, even Nico's resolve began to break down. Surely being friends again can't hurt, can it? He wants so badly to talk to Percy again, although he'd avoided the demigod for the past few months. And somehow, through all the months, Percy and Annabeth broke up.

And that's how he found himself at a party.

It was one of the camp-wide "spirit" parties that Nico never bothered to attend; this time, the theme was something about the end of summer, and so there were shorts and sunglasses abound. He wandered around a bit, hanging awkwardly near Jason, before he decided to head off and find himself a drink.

After grabbing a pack of Kool-Aid from Chiron (he really didn't want to be drunk when facing Percy), he approached where Percy was sitting, somehow alone in a corner sofa.

Silence.

He sat down gingerly, and Percy lifted his head groggily.

"Hi who is it? Yea I'm Percy."

He was obviously a bit drunk, and Nico felt his face flush. He was just about to stand up again when he felt a strong hand clamp around his shoulder. He jolted from the physical contact- it had been months since anyone had touched him.

"Stay with me, baby." The words hung in Nico's head. _Stop, he doesn't mean it, he's drunk_. And yet, he just couldn't resist.

He sat down, and Percy leaned against him with an arm around their shoulder. Instinctively, he shrouded them with more shadows.

He wouldn't deny it; Nico felt good. He could feel Percy's heartbeat, a throbbing pump, through his thin white T-shirt, and the warmth travel through his body. He snuggled closer into his side, putting the voice in his head on mute.

"I've missed you so much." Percy laughed and threw his head back, as if there was something funny about that.

"Baby was I too rough? Our fight I'm sorry. I miss you Wise Girl."

Nico tensed, as every muscle in his body went rigid. He felt tears threaten to leak, and the voice in his head began working again. It should've been obvious, right?

He got up to leave, and felt a tiny tugging on his shirt hem. He looked down to see Percy with tears in his eyes. The droplets shone like dew, shimmering gently in the light.

"Please stay."

Nico hesitated. He knew what was coming; after all, it had happened before. He'd comfort the hero, soothe him and heal him, and leave the night with only a memory to long for.

And yet he still stayed.

They talked for a bit; actually, Nico listened. As if his heart were being torn into by tendrils of Stygian steel, and yet he listened to Percy talk- about how he longed for Annabeth to come back, that he was sorry and that he dreamt of her.

And the funny thing was, if Nico closed his eyes and relaxed, he could almost pretend Percy was talking to him.

"There you go, baby. Close your eyes, and let me help you relax."

He felt Percy's hands gently grip his shoulder blades, and he almost moaned with delight. It was so much more attention than Percy had ever given him, in so many years, and now it was as if a dam were being cracked wide open.

And he dreamt.

* * *

The dream comes to a close, like all dreams do, and Nico opens his eyes. Percy passed out next to him; he slips away through the shadows before anyone can see him in the corner and wonder.

The next day Percy will seem oddly refreshed and energetic, and the next party, they'll do it all over again. And soon enough, all traces of Tartarus will disappear. Annabeth will come back to him, and he will smile so widely that Nico's heart shatters all over again. And he will toast his recovery to her, that she encouraged him to fight on and smile again, and she will cry once again, and Nico will watch them as he spins her in the sunset.

And just like always, he hides away, with only a memory to treasure and no shoulder to cry on.

 **A/N Part 2: Sorry so much for not updating faster x_x Again, review :) Very curious to have suggestions and feedback.**


	8. Returning

_What time is he coming? Oh, I'm so excited._

The Underworld was a dark place, and stalking the world above didn't make him feel any better. He knew it was bad for his temperament; that his life of living like a corpse, viewing his friends through that spectral mirror of the Underworld's rivers, it was not human.

And still he continued to do so.

He was still in love, of course. They had broken up a few times, as many couples do, but like there was a string pulling them together, they always came back together. Nico had remained at camp for a while, after the wars and quests, but slowly their youth had slipped on and he'd felt the brunt of reality hit him.

They were no longer children, friends playing heroes, roaming the world and finding monsters. He was a married man, with a job and security and responsibilities. Nico's crush on him was no longer just unhealthy; it was dangerous now.

He thinks that, as his finger stirs the river's once again, watching Percy's face shimmer as the ripples spread across, before it crystalizes again.

He watches, with eyes that would've once flinched and teared up but have now run dry, as Annabeth flings a pot at Percy, who is on his knees, and although Nico can't see them, he knows there are tears on his face. She screams and exits the house, leaving just a broken, lost hero, sobbing on the floor.

Nico doesn't even know why he hurts himself like this. He's watched the same scene play out a dozen times with slight variations, like a bad cliché. Sometimes Annabeth is slamming the table, sometimes Percy ends up on the couch, sometimes Percy remains soulless for days. His father is worried; Hades wonders why Nico spends so long lurking by the river, and although he loves his son's company, the curse still remains on his mind.

Maybe he likes the pain, likes watching Percy in pain, because it makes them similar.

* * *

 _He's coming today. I haven't seen him in so long_.

He gazes at the river for a while longer. If he were younger, with that trace of innocence he used to keep alive in his heart, he would dream that Percy would want company, that he would mutter his name in between the sobs, and Nico would appear in a flash of shadows and comfort his hero.

But he was 16 now, and far too old for fantasy.

He was going to meet Hazel today. It had been a year since he'd receded into the Underworld, away from the Earth which had cursed him so much. But she missed him, she wrote in those letters, and he simply must go visit.

Nico felt that familiar feeling pulling at his gut, and the world spilled outwards in a puddle of light and color. It had been too long since the sun had caressed his too-pale skin, and he felt his skin shrivel up a tiny bit. It was like he was an old man, trapped inside a teenage body.

He flinched, as he felt her arms wrap around him. They didn't speak; he just felt her heart thump against his back.

After letting go, he turned around and forced a smile for her. Gods, it had been so long since he'd moved his mouth like that, and it sort of hurt the corners of his lips.

She looked slightly older, and yet a stranger would never guess they were siblings. She had beautifully smooth skin, a light shade of cocoa, and almost radiated happiness. How ironic, Nico thought, that from dark childhoods both an angel and corpse could grow.

She led him hand-first into the house, a small Californian villa, and he stepped inside.

"Surprise!"

All those people, memories from his past, jumped out and beamed, and he forced another smile (this time wider), but his eyes caught him immediately. Slender neck, drawing up to that beautifully anguished face, leaning against the corner in the back of the room.

Their eyes met, and he saw it all- the small fringes on the corner of reddened eyes, the concealer that Percy had applied lightly- they were his eyes, not those gorgeous, green ones.

Those were his eyes. Those were the eyes of Nico di Angelo, marred with darkness and scratches and all that shit that the world threw at him.

He blacked out.

* * *

 _Is he alright?_

 _Probably just had too much sunshine and air at once._ A laughter.

Hazel. _Stop it guys, it's not funny. What if he's actually hurt?_

The chorus of voices grows, and Nico feels his head ache. Different voices, some he recognizes, some he doesn't. There's one missing- his Prince.

He's careful not to open his eyes, but he fakes a groan and turns around, letting his eyes look into the shadows of the bed. Around the room, there are people milling, Hazel standing near him with a wet towel. Percy's gone, he's gone.

He's gone.

He turns back over and opens his eyes, lurching upwards and sending Hazel, surprised, jumping backwards.

His head was spinning, something about the air outside and the sun spilling in at that angle, and that dark broken look in Percy's eyes, but that precious empathy link he had built all those years ago- it snapped.

He snapped.

Out the door, leaving the hinge unrooted;

Swirls of shadows flying every which way;

He sees the shadow of his lover, hunched over a bed

Into the shadows he goes-

Nico finds him

Hunched over her.

She's dead.

 **A/N: 1 more chapter 0_0 Hopefully within a few days.**


	9. Finale

Sometimes, for those we love to be happy, we must give everything.

Who had said that? The words floated into his head, as he stared down at Percy, sprawled over Annabeth's body.

He didn't need to ask Percy what happened; thanks to one of his particularly gruesome powers, he was able to recognize the cause of any death instantly- the withering grasp of Cancer, one of the ancient poisons, that slowly suffocated her.

Now, Annabeth was dead, and Nico didn't know whether to feel excited or ashamed.

Percy sobbed again, his body shuddering from the force, and Nico moved to cradle him before he hit the ground.

"We'd known for months, but why now, when I left her side just for a minute?"

He reared his head back, letting a shriek towards the sky. Around Nico, the house seemed to shake, as if the plumbing was coming apart, all together at once.

"Curse the gods; why me? Our life, our relationship just an ill-fated journey towards Hell? Oh-"

He fell down again, and Nico held him closer to his chest, feeling the heat course over his body. How ironic, he thought, that his dreams were coming true while Percy's withered.

He felt the tears drip into his jeans, and immediately felt guilty again. Looking at his prince, desolate and collapsed, with those eyes that had the joy shredded out of them until they were pits of nothingness, Nico felt a sudden urge to throw up come through him. Percy wasn't that, that pile lying shattered in his arms. No, he was the sun of Nico's life.

And what if that sun should sputter?

Percy was sobbing again, and this time Nico clutched him even tighter, afraid that if he let Percy slip away from him, he would be gone forever.

"Love is so fucking broken, Nico. Throughout your life, you are taught and learn to yearn and hunger for it, that one person so perfect, that you love more than yourself. That you would count the stars with, soar through the night with, live and die with. And the gods, or Fates, or whatever shit the world decides to make- they sustain that illusion for just long enough that you begin to believe it's real, that they will be safe in your arms if you just clutch them tight enough.

And then they crush you."

He was never Nico's to lose. And yet, somehow, Nico had lost him.

* * *

The funeral was the next day.

He looked in the mirror- unshaved stubble, hair that's too oily and ragged, bloodshot eyes.

He watches as his friends flood into the funeral, and they sit in silence underneath a rainstorm. He lets it soak through his clothing, over his skin until he is so cold he feels he could just close his eyes and let go. But he doesn't, and lets the rain fall.

They all speak, with even Athena making an appearance, about Annabeth, and her corpse lies behind shrouded in silver. There is no shortage of tears.

He still feels numb. Frank, the last speaker, is finishing up a story about how Annabeth saved his fingers from a trap, and they are all laughing and crying together. He never knew how many lives she had touched. All his friends are there around him and her, just as she would've wanted- Piper, Jason, Malcolm, Leo, Frank, Hazel.

His head is bowed as he finds that repulsive feeling stir up again, of wanting to cry but feeling nothing come out. And then he hears it, a stir, a murmur, some shrieks.

He must be going insane, he thinks, and looks down again at the soggy ground.

Then he hears it, a voice that he never thought he'd hear again, and he jumps up and holds

Her.

"Percy, I'm back, it's okay it's okay" she whispers over and over and over into his ear, but he still holds her tighter, feels the rain and dust from within the shroud mix on her back, but his hand grips wet skin and fabric not air, and he smiles again.

And he frowns as she wriggles out of his arms, and stares at him, and frowns.

Is this a trick?

"Percy, don't worry, I'm real." She says.

All around them, their friends are excitedly chatting and crying. Too loud.

"How?"

"Nico."

His mind blanks. Nico. Where is Nico?

"I thought death was permanent, even for a child of Death."

"Not if they love someone enough."

Nico loved Annabeth? He had heard the rumors of course, but had never thought he still had that for his girlfriend. Well, it was okay, he'd have to treat Nico to some ice cream later-

"Not me." She says, as if reading his thoughts, and his heart stops. His head hurts.

"He said to hurry, something about empathy links."

Percy recognizes that feeling in his chest now, of being unable to breathe and a gasping heart.

His head still spins, though.

"How?"

Annabeth smiles again, and he will love that smile every other time he sees it- on their wedding, when she cradles their son, and when she kisses him on his deathbed.

But not now. For it is a sad smile.

"He said you'd understand, to remember Bianca."

He blacks out.

* * *

He finds Nico in his mind, lying down on the ground somewhere. As the scenery slowly fades into view, he recognizes the place- that jagged obsidian cliff, seeing the sunrise and the Gothic spires of the academy behind the forest.

It's where he lost Annabeth the first time, to that manticore.

It's where he first met Nico.

The boy is lying on the ground, in a puddle of blood, and Percy leaps forward and cradles him in his arms. He feels the blood soak into the fabric of his jacket, and he briefly wonders what it looks like in real life.

He doesn't care.

Nico coughs, and his breath comes out ragged, but his eyes are brighter than Percy's ever seen them, no longer like the souls of midnight, but more like stars. Stars, the ones that shot through the sky occasionally, burning too fast.

"Percy."

He coughs up some more blood, and Percy clutches him tighter. Being this close to Nico, feeling his frail body shudder and shake within his arms, he now knows what Annabeth meant. He squeezes him as close as he can, trying to share his energy somehow, any way he can, but he can feel it in every drop of blood that Nico spills onto him.

He is just hugging a corpse.

"Nico, I'm here, it'll be okay." He moves to cushion Nico with his jacket, but Nico clings on tighter to his chest with his arms, and Percy grips him, rubbing circles into his back.

"I'll miss you, so much, and I know you won't, but that's okay."

Nico says those words, and it almost stabs through Percy's heart, because he knows it's true. That Nico never had more than an inch of his world, and that he would later count the dead demigod as one of his many fallen friends.

He holds him even tighter. Because for that instant, Nico would be his world. He would grant Nico that one dream, even after he'd failed him in so many.

"Just, please, be happy. That's all I want."

He hears the earnest twang in Nico's voice, and shudders with tears, that he tries to blink away. He has to be strong, if only for a moment, because that's all Nico wants.

He fails. Tears careen over his eyelashes, spilling onto Nico's body and mixing with his blood.

"Nico, I'm so sorry for everything. I was such a bad-"

"You were perfect to me."

He watches as Nico smiles and leans up, leaving him one chaste kiss. The taste of his cold, neglected lips languishes on Percy's tongue, and he doesn't think it'll ever leave him.

"Thank you."

And for the first time, as Nico shuts his eyes again, he doesn't need to imagine Percy smiling, those beautiful glittering eyes, that faint smell of sea salt- he doesn't need to imagine Percy cradling him to sleep.

And for the first time he is happy. Because sometimes, for those he loves to be happy, he must give everything.

And so, for the last time, he smiles, his first real smile.

 **A/N: RIP.**

 **Stay tuned for the epilogue.**


End file.
